PLASTIC PETS

I don't do intros so I let Wendy introduce the Plastic Pets....

The Plastic Pets started about a year ago when Ryan and I decided we wanted to do something a little more dumb than Monitors. I know that sounds stupid, but when you listen to the Monitors records, you realize that there's a lot of shit going on musically and it's hard playing all that fast crazy ass piano shit. Ryan's bass lines are like playing lead guitar, really fast and crazy, so that wasn't exactly easy either. Plus, we weren't playing all that many shows, because Chad had a really tight schedule. We were also sick of having to go through all the theatrics everytime we played a show, because we had costumes and lighting and all this bullshit... So we wanted to start this street punk band that was totally stupid and we could just rock out and shit.. Also, we kinda felt like there really was no other punk rock band in Milwaukee. Sure there's some street punk 77 mohawk kids, but no REAL punk. We also wanted to be super party time fun band so we did awesome covers by bands like Eater, Skrewdriver (we took some shit from PC twats for that one) Wayne County and The Electric Chairs, Creedence Clearwater Revival and other crap.

Wendy-Guitar/Ryan-Drums/Mark-Vocals/Mike-Bass

What's your take on street punk types?
Wendy: At least, they dance around and fuck shit up unlike the boring rocknroll/power-twat crowd.
Mike: They have crazy fucking hair, they're scary, and they should all be thrown in jail.

What covers do you do?
Ryan: Awesome ones, punk songs!!!
Mike: You'll have to come to a show to find out. We do one about Jesus, and one about some guy who jizzes in his pants all the time.

If you could set up a show, what 3 other bands (current or past) would you choose to play with?
Ryan: Kill-a-watts, Sagger, and uh, I can’t think of any one else!!!
Mark: Creedence Clearwater Revival, MC5, and AC/DC, just so I can see them.
Wendy: Love, Easybeats, and Sweeney Todd with Nick Gilder on vocals, probably.
Mike: 1. Creedence 2. Clearwater 3. motherfucking Revival

When you see people standin still at shows, how do you react?
Ryan: I know they are fags and pity them!!!
Wendy: I am the finest dancer in the land, so I can’t say as though I blame people for feeling stupid about dancing around me.

Ghetto Meltdown", "Papercut Infection"...Those are some strange song titles, what's the deal with some of em?
Ryan: We write songs that reflect out lives, we live the life, we are not fags!!!
Mark: Rockadoodle Dildos is a poignant commentary on the douchbaggery of so-called “Rockabily Fans” who seem to be more interested in having perfect sideburns than they are in actually listening to good music.
Wendy: Our songs are all really stupid ideas that are elaborated on way too much. "Ghetto Meltdown" is all about livin’ in the ghetto all winter and the shit that people throw on the ground coming to the surface when the snow thaws. In Milwaukee it’s fucking sick. You find crack pipes and dirty diapers and condoms and chicken bones and dead pets and aborted babies...just completely fucking disgusting.
Mike: "Drop Down" is about girls who likes sucking band dude’s cocks. Who are you anyways...Jerry Seinfeld? "What is the deal with these song titles??"

I assume the band took its name from the Elton Motello song, what's yer fave song of his?
Ryan: Pocket Calculator, its new wave gold!!!
Mark: Tutti Fruitti Alice maybe?
Wendy: Aritficial Insemination, or Ca Plan Pour Moi.
Mike: He's Crying...and that one where he's talking about sucking some guy's cock. That one's funny.

Who is the worst band/best band out right now?
Unanimous: Worst band: Busy Signals/Best band: Plexi 3 (Wendy and Ryan’s new band).

What's the typical reaction at a P.Pets show?

Ryan: Uh we have fun, the audience watches us and realizes how boring and pointless they are and all go home and cut themselves!!!

Mike: Sleeplessness, nervousness, insomnia, dizziness, nausea, weight loss, abnormal ejaculation.

Are there any records coming out soon?

Ryan: No we are way too punk to release anything ever!!!

Wendy: Yeah we already have 6 45s out and an album on the way, but they’re only available in Zimbabwe. We’re really huge over there. Little starving children ask me to autograph their sticks all the time.

Mike: If we get around to it. We're too busy inventing awesome shit to solve the world's problems. Take our latest invention BONER WHIZ. It's a fucking funnel with a tube coming off the end, so when you wake up in the morning with a big fucking BONER, and you hafta take a WHIZ, you point yer dick into the funnel, point the fucking tube into the shitter, and voi-fucking-la, no more pissing on the walls or having to do headstands! It's fucking BRILLIANT!!!